- Water: Love it. Drink it cold, chills you down, which burns cals. Drink it warm, it fills you up and comforts a hungry stomach. Water down your food, makes it mushy and unappealing. Drink lots of it; keeps you hydrated and keeps you full. Flavor it with Crystal Light or other sugar-free drink mixes.
- Try on clothes smaller than your size. It can be frustrating but keeps you motivated.
- Eat a meal with family or friends every couple days to keep them from being suspicious or insistent on eating. Offer to make the meal to share with your family, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, whatever. Make something that's easy to either hide and dispose of, or push around to look like you've eaten it: baked potato in aluminum foil (can unwrap, cut up, mush around then use foil to place on top to hide it so it looks like you ate from it), shrimp, crab legs, mussels, oysters--anything with a shell to peel (you can peel it then use the shell to pile up on top and leave the food hidden underneath so you don't have to eat it)...and then serve it with a salad that you actually eat from.
- Use chopsticks to eat. It's stylish and also slows you down, forces you to consider each bite.
- Use seasonings to spice up and flavor very low-cal foods like lettuce, mushrooms, broccoli. Chicken bouillion powder, onion powder, garlic, grilled chicken seasonings, lemon pepper, dried tomato & basil, etc.
-"..DESTROY your image of food. if im alone (this sounds gross) i get some food say some cake,bread, chocolates. instead of eating them get them out and just squish them up in your hands. feel how gross they feel seeping between your fingers. just find a bin and wash your hands after.
-Pamper yourself--you're beautiful! You're motivated! Keeping good hair, good nails, shaven legs, exfoliated skin, moisturized skin...keeps you feeling proud and good about yourself.
- Vitamins are very important. Take them daily.
- Sugar free jello is a great food to fill ya up and offer flavor. Sugar free candies (LifeSavers, Go Lightly, Baskin Robbins, etc.) are also tasty. Sugar free gum keeps your mouth full of flavor and occupied. Breathmints can also keep your mouth with flavor and stave off hunger.
- Flip through fantastic fashion magazines daily (or visit websites): Vogue, Vanity Fair, Elle, etc. Pull out ads that have fashions or makeup that you like. Keep them in a folder or somewhere you see daily. Keep your focus positive; use the images as inspiration. You're on your way to embracing the same look for yourself! You can do it! You can do anything you truly set your mind to.
- If you are trying to look like you are eating always 'fiddle' with the food. For instance, "eat" chicken when with others. Peel off the chicken skin (and meat, too, but discretely), use your fingers to pull and pick at it, then use a towel to wipe your greasy hands...subtly putting the meat in the towel and throw away. Then you're left with chicken bones and happy company that thinks you ate! You can munch on a salad, too, to finish off the "meal" without really having to eat anything more than lettuce and veggies!
- Brush your teeth often. Keep your mouth fresh, especially if you're purging.
- Drink a load of water before and during a binge if you're going to purge. Makes it come up easier.
- Keep busy! Working, going out, shopping, chatting or surfing the web, cleaning, volunteering, spending time out with friends, pursuing a career...all keeps you focused on other things and upbeat.
- Read other ana blogs and visit websites. We're a strong, fantastic community that can be very supportive and inspiring!
Thanks to Anasgirls.com for inspiration and sharing ideas!
Showing posts with label ana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ana. Show all posts
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
So now back home.
Back from the overseas galavanting, I am so freaking grateful to report that things were fabulous. I also learned that it's not working out obsessively for 90-120 mins a day that makes me thin...it's simply restricting cals. I wasn't able to keep up my gym routine in Italy, obviously, and that intially had me really stressed. But then I adapted by running around the streets of where I was staying for 40-50 mins in the mornings, and walking everywhere. And I lost weight! I was surprised! I was only jogging 45 mins/day and then walking around and still losing weight? And here at home I've been working out hard for over an hour daily and thinking that would make it come off faster. But simply restricting and hardly consuming calories made the most difference.
So, that was a nice surprise. I return thinner and everyone's been commenting on me being too thin and losing weight while vacationing in Italy with the world-famous cuisine. Which is wonderful, it's so so so amazing when you finally get to the point of being on the "too thin" side. You work so long and so hard to get to that point, you have to just simply savor it for a bit.
My only issue is this horrid swelling of my legs, ankles and feet every evening. Like really swollen. I've been reading online about "edema" with people with EDs. I'm not sure exactly what nutrient it is that my body needs to make things circulate better again. I'll take it in a heartbeat when I find out. I read about protein difficiencies, so last night I ate a half can of tuna and I drink about 2-3 cups of milk and have about 1-2 cups of yogurt a day to keep going. I guess I need more protein? The swelling is awful and very very embarrassing. I can't go out without big-legged pants on because it's so noticeable! I have a date tomorrow night and I'm hoping to death that I can sit on the floor, lounge on the couch with my legs propped up, and keep moving around to keep the circulation going so that my legs won't get so swollen. It's ridiculous. I'm hoping if I eat a bit of protein each day (i.e. tuna, egg whites, steamed pollack, salmon) that it will start to ease up...eeesh. Anyone else ever deal with this??
Over the weekend my legs were really ache-y, like to the point I could hardly lift my legs because my thighs were so achey with muscle soreness. That's when I really started to get alarmed and sat down to research what I can find on the internet. Hence eating the tuna last night, and a half cup of blueberries and a head of lettuce for the day. And a head of lettuce the day before, along with the milk and the yogurt as usual.
If anyone's heard of this, knows any suggestions or has any thoughts...I am def all ears!
As always, thanks SO much for listening/reading.
So, that was a nice surprise. I return thinner and everyone's been commenting on me being too thin and losing weight while vacationing in Italy with the world-famous cuisine. Which is wonderful, it's so so so amazing when you finally get to the point of being on the "too thin" side. You work so long and so hard to get to that point, you have to just simply savor it for a bit.
My only issue is this horrid swelling of my legs, ankles and feet every evening. Like really swollen. I've been reading online about "edema" with people with EDs. I'm not sure exactly what nutrient it is that my body needs to make things circulate better again. I'll take it in a heartbeat when I find out. I read about protein difficiencies, so last night I ate a half can of tuna and I drink about 2-3 cups of milk and have about 1-2 cups of yogurt a day to keep going. I guess I need more protein? The swelling is awful and very very embarrassing. I can't go out without big-legged pants on because it's so noticeable! I have a date tomorrow night and I'm hoping to death that I can sit on the floor, lounge on the couch with my legs propped up, and keep moving around to keep the circulation going so that my legs won't get so swollen. It's ridiculous. I'm hoping if I eat a bit of protein each day (i.e. tuna, egg whites, steamed pollack, salmon) that it will start to ease up...eeesh. Anyone else ever deal with this??
Over the weekend my legs were really ache-y, like to the point I could hardly lift my legs because my thighs were so achey with muscle soreness. That's when I really started to get alarmed and sat down to research what I can find on the internet. Hence eating the tuna last night, and a half cup of blueberries and a head of lettuce for the day. And a head of lettuce the day before, along with the milk and the yogurt as usual.
If anyone's heard of this, knows any suggestions or has any thoughts...I am def all ears!
As always, thanks SO much for listening/reading.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Side Effects of ED?
I've recently started having my ankles and feet swell up in the later part of the day into the evening. I've changed up my workout routine in the past 6 weeks and feel great about it; losing weight, getting down to thinness again...I count my lucky stars that I'm able to be grabbing onto my ana ways from about 6 years ago and it's working. But I'm curious why, in the past week or two, my ankles keep swelling up. Circulation problems? It's weird, 'cause I have a nice, lean top but then elephant legs, ankles and feet! Anyone else have this problem after losing weight or increasing workouts or anything? Is bad circulation an ana thing? Just curious. Thanks, guys!
Monday, August 17, 2009
"Smoothie" to Calm Hunger & Fill You Up
I live off of these to fill me up and keep me going with very little calories. It's mostly water with a little yogurt and milk for flavor. The water and the foam created from the blender is what fills you up.
1 tablespoon of FF yogurt, like Dannon Light 'N Fit
1 tablespoon FF dry milk (dry milk foams; other milk doesn't. I prefer the foam because I "eat" it off the top with a spoon and it's filling)
dash of salt (brings out the sweetness)
sweetner to taste (Equal, Splenda, Sweet'n Low or a mix of all three)
few bits of fruit if you want (very tiny bits of banana or strawberries can be quite flavorful, but not necessary)
Toss that into a full blender of water, like 1 liter. Blend fast for 5-10 seconds, making it foam up at the top (it's very weak, so it's mostly clear...but has flavor if you add enough sweetner and mix the right amount of salt to bring out that flavor). Use a large spoon to "eat" off the little layer of foam on top. Blend again, creating more foam. I "eat" the foam off the top all the way down to where there's hardly any left. Then I'm full with the bubbles and the water and it's actually pretty tasty.
I'm just weird, but aren't we all? Never hurts to share ideas.
1 tablespoon of FF yogurt, like Dannon Light 'N Fit
1 tablespoon FF dry milk (dry milk foams; other milk doesn't. I prefer the foam because I "eat" it off the top with a spoon and it's filling)
dash of salt (brings out the sweetness)
sweetner to taste (Equal, Splenda, Sweet'n Low or a mix of all three)
few bits of fruit if you want (very tiny bits of banana or strawberries can be quite flavorful, but not necessary)
Toss that into a full blender of water, like 1 liter. Blend fast for 5-10 seconds, making it foam up at the top (it's very weak, so it's mostly clear...but has flavor if you add enough sweetner and mix the right amount of salt to bring out that flavor). Use a large spoon to "eat" off the little layer of foam on top. Blend again, creating more foam. I "eat" the foam off the top all the way down to where there's hardly any left. Then I'm full with the bubbles and the water and it's actually pretty tasty.
I'm just weird, but aren't we all? Never hurts to share ideas.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Eating Tip
Hello, all!
I work in an office with people coming and going throughout the day randomly, in and out, stopping to chat or meet or whatever. As such, I can't find "safe" times to chew/spit throughout the day or whatnot...and going all day without anything makes me unable to think clearly by the afternoon. So I needed to do something about that. I've started taking food with me to work, stuff I'll actually eat: sprouts, a head of lettuce, a couple peppers or a box of cherry tomatoes. I've found that if I eat parts of a salad individually, it lasts longer and fills me up way better when I'm starving. So, for instance, I'll eat a bowl of lettuce (with seasonings it can be very tasty), then a handful of sliced pepper. Then a small cup of white, raw mushrooms. Breaking it down into 3 parts feels like more and I fill up better because it takes longer to eat so I actually digest and don't feel so hungry. It's a good way to look like you're eating a lot when you're around others, without actually doing so. Plus it helps you regain your energy when you're getting really low.
I work in an office with people coming and going throughout the day randomly, in and out, stopping to chat or meet or whatever. As such, I can't find "safe" times to chew/spit throughout the day or whatnot...and going all day without anything makes me unable to think clearly by the afternoon. So I needed to do something about that. I've started taking food with me to work, stuff I'll actually eat: sprouts, a head of lettuce, a couple peppers or a box of cherry tomatoes. I've found that if I eat parts of a salad individually, it lasts longer and fills me up way better when I'm starving. So, for instance, I'll eat a bowl of lettuce (with seasonings it can be very tasty), then a handful of sliced pepper. Then a small cup of white, raw mushrooms. Breaking it down into 3 parts feels like more and I fill up better because it takes longer to eat so I actually digest and don't feel so hungry. It's a good way to look like you're eating a lot when you're around others, without actually doing so. Plus it helps you regain your energy when you're getting really low.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Surviving!
Week at my parents' place almost fully survived! And I gotta say, it hasn't been bad at all. I've eaten around them and my friends with fresh vegetables and fruits when necessary. I must say that reading all of your fantastic blogs helps a LOT. It inspires me and makes me feel comforted knowing there are others out there that understand what all this is like in their own way...even if we don't know each other in person.
I've been going to a nearby gym here and really enjoying it! I also am finding I'm dealing okay with being flexible to schedules, which sometimes don't allow me to have the morning workout (i.e. driving to appointments or the airport super early) I'm used to, if any at all. Even if I miss a day, I know I'll be fine, stay on track...my body will feel better for the time to recoup anyway. And I'll be more pumped to blast into a new workout when I am able to do so again. It's just another expression of the obsessive compulsiveness that those of us with EDs (and especially anas, I think) can have. However, as I've gotten older and "matured" (lol) I realize that, in many ways, the OCD behaviors can be quite useful. First of all, it DOES keep you on track and you have more motivation to not eat or work out than people that aren't obsessive. But if you channel it into other areas of life it can truly work to your benefit. Namely, your career. I find that channeling my obsessiveness into working hard for my clients, doing the best job I can do, working until I feel I've given my best...builds great relationships and brings in new clients all the time. So, score for anas! :)
I met up with my college girlfriend/roommate yesterday for the first time in 4 years since we graduated. It was cool because I am still as lithe and feeling thin and fabulous as I was in college...it's taken the past 6 months to crawl out of my sloppy binging and weight gain to get myself back down to the athletic routines and very slender physique that I used to have, but GOD is it worth it. Ladies, keep strong and know that even when it seems like you've gained and "lost your touch", never to get back down to your thin self again...YOU CAN. It takes baby steps, you just start little by little: reducing your food intake or caloric intake bit by bit, changing up your workouts a little at a time...suddenly you'll realize you're on track again! And then you know you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Anything in your career, anything with your goals in life, traveling the world, starting a company---if you have the determination it takes to live with ana, you really have so much more going for you than 98% of society. Make it your asset, not your weakness!
I've been going to a nearby gym here and really enjoying it! I also am finding I'm dealing okay with being flexible to schedules, which sometimes don't allow me to have the morning workout (i.e. driving to appointments or the airport super early) I'm used to, if any at all. Even if I miss a day, I know I'll be fine, stay on track...my body will feel better for the time to recoup anyway. And I'll be more pumped to blast into a new workout when I am able to do so again. It's just another expression of the obsessive compulsiveness that those of us with EDs (and especially anas, I think) can have. However, as I've gotten older and "matured" (lol) I realize that, in many ways, the OCD behaviors can be quite useful. First of all, it DOES keep you on track and you have more motivation to not eat or work out than people that aren't obsessive. But if you channel it into other areas of life it can truly work to your benefit. Namely, your career. I find that channeling my obsessiveness into working hard for my clients, doing the best job I can do, working until I feel I've given my best...builds great relationships and brings in new clients all the time. So, score for anas! :)
I met up with my college girlfriend/roommate yesterday for the first time in 4 years since we graduated. It was cool because I am still as lithe and feeling thin and fabulous as I was in college...it's taken the past 6 months to crawl out of my sloppy binging and weight gain to get myself back down to the athletic routines and very slender physique that I used to have, but GOD is it worth it. Ladies, keep strong and know that even when it seems like you've gained and "lost your touch", never to get back down to your thin self again...YOU CAN. It takes baby steps, you just start little by little: reducing your food intake or caloric intake bit by bit, changing up your workouts a little at a time...suddenly you'll realize you're on track again! And then you know you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Anything in your career, anything with your goals in life, traveling the world, starting a company---if you have the determination it takes to live with ana, you really have so much more going for you than 98% of society. Make it your asset, not your weakness!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Hello!
I read the blogs of so many of you amazing people who are striving for excellence, suffering in silence, aiming for thin perfection and dancing behind a veil of struggle. You have my greatest respect, because with you all I feel like I am not alone. I can understand what you are saying, either because I am currently feeling it or have in the past.
Anorexia and I have had a relationship for 11 years now. I have morphed from anorexia into a horrid habit of chewing & spitting for the past 5 years. As such, my weight has gone up and down as I've gotten sloppy with the chewing/spitting or gone through periods of trying to eat "normally" with regular meals, etc. around other people. I "lost my touch" and now am fiercely determined to redefine the willpower of my anorexic self to get to my GW of 110-112. I am currently 123 (lost 3 pounds in the past week, yay!) and have been on this renewed mission for about 2 1/2 weeks. My HW was 158...NEVER FUCKING EVER AGAIN. This past winter I was up to 135...NEVER FUCKING EVER AGAIN. My LW was 91. I don't want to be that low, I realize I looked hideous. And I was truly miserable, no longer proud to be thinner than everyone else. I was desperate to try to put a couple pounds on again. Well, I did. Now I'm back to getting myself wrangled into gear.
2 1/2 weeks ago I joined the local gym at a nearby resort. I used to run outside and then go to the gym every day for years...then dropped off this past year for a little over a year, only running daily for an hour or hr and 20 mins but half-heartedly. Now I am fabulously thrilled that I'm enjoying mixing it up again, I look forward to it, I love it again! For 11 years I've been a runner, always outdoors. To the point of causing injury from over-doing it over the years several times. Learning to find a balance and moderate my obsessive compulsiveness is always a challenge. But now mixing shorter runs with going to the gym and getting on the treadmill and elliptical, my body is more balanced and I'm very proud of myself. Plus I'm working new muscles and getting back to weight lifting to get the toned, tight figure we all strive for.
Anyway. I still chew/spit daily and am working now, in my renewed vengence, to go at least one day a week of eating little calories and not binging with the chew/spit. If I c/s, it helps to calm my cravings. I don't want to stop doing it entirely for that reason. But I need to limit it because I can get sloppy and it starts showing up as extra weight. I get to obsessive and hook myself on it, thinking about it all day, not eating anything, then c/s-ing for hours at night alone in my apartment. I end up feeling horribly disgusting and going to bed vowing to not do it the next day--to start fresh and eat healthy, very low cal foods, keep my daily intake low and not go nuts. If I can even do that one day a week, that will be a good start and will help take off pounds. Balancing that with runs and the gym for cardio in the mornings and lifting weights, stretching, Pilates in the afternoons is going to whip me back into my Ana self that was so determined and not so sloppy as I've become.
So this is my intro and I'm very, very honored to launch into this blog. It serves as an outlet so someone can hear the experiences and thoughts that I can share with no one else. Many, many thanks to all of you for just listening.
Anorexia and I have had a relationship for 11 years now. I have morphed from anorexia into a horrid habit of chewing & spitting for the past 5 years. As such, my weight has gone up and down as I've gotten sloppy with the chewing/spitting or gone through periods of trying to eat "normally" with regular meals, etc. around other people. I "lost my touch" and now am fiercely determined to redefine the willpower of my anorexic self to get to my GW of 110-112. I am currently 123 (lost 3 pounds in the past week, yay!) and have been on this renewed mission for about 2 1/2 weeks. My HW was 158...NEVER FUCKING EVER AGAIN. This past winter I was up to 135...NEVER FUCKING EVER AGAIN. My LW was 91. I don't want to be that low, I realize I looked hideous. And I was truly miserable, no longer proud to be thinner than everyone else. I was desperate to try to put a couple pounds on again. Well, I did. Now I'm back to getting myself wrangled into gear.
2 1/2 weeks ago I joined the local gym at a nearby resort. I used to run outside and then go to the gym every day for years...then dropped off this past year for a little over a year, only running daily for an hour or hr and 20 mins but half-heartedly. Now I am fabulously thrilled that I'm enjoying mixing it up again, I look forward to it, I love it again! For 11 years I've been a runner, always outdoors. To the point of causing injury from over-doing it over the years several times. Learning to find a balance and moderate my obsessive compulsiveness is always a challenge. But now mixing shorter runs with going to the gym and getting on the treadmill and elliptical, my body is more balanced and I'm very proud of myself. Plus I'm working new muscles and getting back to weight lifting to get the toned, tight figure we all strive for.
Anyway. I still chew/spit daily and am working now, in my renewed vengence, to go at least one day a week of eating little calories and not binging with the chew/spit. If I c/s, it helps to calm my cravings. I don't want to stop doing it entirely for that reason. But I need to limit it because I can get sloppy and it starts showing up as extra weight. I get to obsessive and hook myself on it, thinking about it all day, not eating anything, then c/s-ing for hours at night alone in my apartment. I end up feeling horribly disgusting and going to bed vowing to not do it the next day--to start fresh and eat healthy, very low cal foods, keep my daily intake low and not go nuts. If I can even do that one day a week, that will be a good start and will help take off pounds. Balancing that with runs and the gym for cardio in the mornings and lifting weights, stretching, Pilates in the afternoons is going to whip me back into my Ana self that was so determined and not so sloppy as I've become.
So this is my intro and I'm very, very honored to launch into this blog. It serves as an outlet so someone can hear the experiences and thoughts that I can share with no one else. Many, many thanks to all of you for just listening.
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