So now back home.

Back from the overseas galavanting, I am so freaking grateful to report that things were fabulous. I also learned that it's not working out obsessively for 90-120 mins a day that makes me thin...it's simply restricting cals. I wasn't able to keep up my gym routine in Italy, obviously, and that intially had me really stressed. But then I adapted by running around the streets of where I was staying for 40-50 mins in the mornings, and walking everywhere. And I lost weight! I was surprised! I was only jogging 45 mins/day and then walking around and still losing weight? And here at home I've been working out hard for over an hour daily and thinking that would make it come off faster. But simply restricting and hardly consuming calories made the most difference.

So, that was a nice surprise. I return thinner and everyone's been commenting on me being too thin and losing weight while vacationing in Italy with the world-famous cuisine. Which is wonderful, it's so so so amazing when you finally get to the point of being on the "too thin" side. You work so long and so hard to get to that point, you have to just simply savor it for a bit.

My only issue is this horrid swelling of my legs, ankles and feet every evening. Like really swollen. I've been reading online about "edema" with people with EDs. I'm not sure exactly what nutrient it is that my body needs to make things circulate better again. I'll take it in a heartbeat when I find out. I read about protein difficiencies, so last night I ate a half can of tuna and I drink about 2-3 cups of milk and have about 1-2 cups of yogurt a day to keep going. I guess I need more protein? The swelling is awful and very very embarrassing. I can't go out without big-legged pants on because it's so noticeable! I have a date tomorrow night and I'm hoping to death that I can sit on the floor, lounge on the couch with my legs propped up, and keep moving around to keep the circulation going so that my legs won't get so swollen. It's ridiculous. I'm hoping if I eat a bit of protein each day (i.e. tuna, egg whites, steamed pollack, salmon) that it will start to ease up...eeesh. Anyone else ever deal with this??

Over the weekend my legs were really ache-y, like to the point I could hardly lift my legs because my thighs were so achey with muscle soreness. That's when I really started to get alarmed and sat down to research what I can find on the internet. Hence eating the tuna last night, and a half cup of blueberries and a head of lettuce for the day. And a head of lettuce the day before, along with the milk and the yogurt as usual.

If anyone's heard of this, knows any suggestions or has any thoughts...I am def all ears!

As always, thanks SO much for listening/reading.

Surviving!

Week at my parents' place almost fully survived! And I gotta say, it hasn't been bad at all. I've eaten around them and my friends with fresh vegetables and fruits when necessary. I must say that reading all of your fantastic blogs helps a LOT. It inspires me and makes me feel comforted knowing there are others out there that understand what all this is like in their own way...even if we don't know each other in person.

I've been going to a nearby gym here and really enjoying it! I also am finding I'm dealing okay with being flexible to schedules, which sometimes don't allow me to have the morning workout (i.e. driving to appointments or the airport super early) I'm used to, if any at all. Even if I miss a day, I know I'll be fine, stay on track...my body will feel better for the time to recoup anyway. And I'll be more pumped to blast into a new workout when I am able to do so again. It's just another expression of the obsessive compulsiveness that those of us with EDs (and especially anas, I think) can have. However, as I've gotten older and "matured" (lol) I realize that, in many ways, the OCD behaviors can be quite useful. First of all, it DOES keep you on track and you have more motivation to not eat or work out than people that aren't obsessive. But if you channel it into other areas of life it can truly work to your benefit. Namely, your career. I find that channeling my obsessiveness into working hard for my clients, doing the best job I can do, working until I feel I've given my best...builds great relationships and brings in new clients all the time. So, score for anas! :)

I met up with my college girlfriend/roommate yesterday for the first time in 4 years since we graduated. It was cool because I am still as lithe and feeling thin and fabulous as I was in college...it's taken the past 6 months to crawl out of my sloppy binging and weight gain to get myself back down to the athletic routines and very slender physique that I used to have, but GOD is it worth it. Ladies, keep strong and know that even when it seems like you've gained and "lost your touch", never to get back down to your thin self again...YOU CAN. It takes baby steps, you just start little by little: reducing your food intake or caloric intake bit by bit, changing up your workouts a little at a time...suddenly you'll realize you're on track again! And then you know you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Anything in your career, anything with your goals in life, traveling the world, starting a company---if you have the determination it takes to live with ana, you really have so much more going for you than 98% of society. Make it your asset, not your weakness!