Friday, August 28, 2009


Me, finishing sprint triathlon 2 years ago

Traveling to Italy

Monday morning I leave for Italy for 2 weeks. Traveling solo, meeting a friend at the end of the trip to be in her wedding before flying back home. Very excited!! Very excited to travel alone--both because it's intimidating, and also because I won't have to worry about people being around and needing to fake eating. I can do what I want. Chew/spit what I want in privacy of my hotel or apartment and then go about the day. I'm always nervous before traveling not knowing just how my workouts will work out. I've found public gyms in Rome and Florence, hopefully not too far from where I'm staying. I need to know I'll have that security so I can stay thin and keep off the weight I've lost. I'm very nervous about that. Ultimately do you stay thin and get thinner by not eating, or is it from working out too? When I got to my lowest at 89lbs with full-blown ana, I wasn't working out. I didn't have the strength. I just wasn't eating and getting through the days, one day at a time. And I got my weight very low. When I work out, I feel like I have to consume a wee bit of cals in order to have the energy to power through my work outs. But are they really what makes me get thinner, or is it the lack of food? I can analyze this shit for days. I seem to be on a plateau right now. I want to get off 3 more lbs in 2 weeks. Not impossible. But is the main issue to simply stay on as low of cals as possible, or is it also keeping up daily hard workouts? Do you think you lose weight from not eating a lot, or from working out really hard?

Look forward to checking in as I travel and keeping you comforting to have a support group via the internet even if I don't know y'all in person.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Which Burns More Calories: More Incline or Faster Speed?

Running on the treadmill in the mornings, doing intervals at higher speeds but keeping the same incline or even reducing the incline in order to maintain a higher speed, I get to wondering. Wonder which burns more calories, running at a decent pace at a high incline or keeping a moderate or lower incline but running at a high sprint?

What do you guys think?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Benefits of Chewing Gum

Chewing gum can be a great appetite suppressant, and very low cal when you chew sugar free. There's a plethora of sugar-free gums on the market. Sugar-free mints work well, too, for suppressing appetite: Breathsavers, SugarFree LifeSavers, SF Altoids, SF Ice Breakers, etc. I chew through packs a day; as soon as it loses its flavor or I am hungry, I spit out the piece and go for another. Anyway, there's an article just out that says it may also help with memory function, too. Even better, even if the supporting research is rather shaky.

Side Effects of ED?

I've recently started having my ankles and feet swell up in the later part of the day into the evening. I've changed up my workout routine in the past 6 weeks and feel great about it; losing weight, getting down to thinness again...I count my lucky stars that I'm able to be grabbing onto my ana ways from about 6 years ago and it's working. But I'm curious why, in the past week or two, my ankles keep swelling up. Circulation problems? It's weird, 'cause I have a nice, lean top but then elephant legs, ankles and feet! Anyone else have this problem after losing weight or increasing workouts or anything? Is bad circulation an ana thing? Just curious. Thanks, guys!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Preparing Meals When You Have to Eat With Others

When I'm in a situation where I have to eat with others, like on a date, with family or with a friend, I like to handle part or all of the meal preparation so I know what's in stuff (as many of us do). One dish I like to make that keeps the others satisfied and full--and let's me squeak by with as little cals as possible--is my "Protein Power Salad". I've made this for guys--brawny, football-type guys--and they love it, saying how amazed they are at how full it makes them. I love it because I can stuff their salad bowls with all the goodies and then have a layer of lettuce, raw mushrooms, and some slivers of veggies on both bowls. My bowl, however, is full of mostly just lettuce. So the bowls look the same--but one is full of lettuce and one is full of nuts, seeds, croutons, raisins, tomatoes, peppers, etc. to make a solid dish. By putting a lettuce layer on top and then sprinkling slivers of vegetables and seasonings, the bowlfuls look colorful and fancy. Keep all the "calories" on top of your bowl--i.e. slivers of tomatoes, onions, peppers, whatever--so it looks like they're in the whole salad (but really, they're just on the top). You can sprinkle cheese on the other person's salad for more flavor for them, as well as seasonings. You can stick to just seasonings for yours to avoid the fat and cals but keep it looking very colorful.

"Power Salad" Recipe:
Both Bowls:
- Lettuce (particularly different kinds, because looks better)

Other Person's Bowl:
- Tomatoes
- Croutons
- Walnuts
- Peanuts
- Raisins
- Red & Green Peppers
- Mushrooms
- Parmesean Cheese
- Snap Peas
- Seaseme Seeds
- broccoli

All tossed together with some lettuce. Fill your bowl with lettuce and a few bits of raw mushrooms and broccoli florets. On top, layer lettuce with slices of mushrooms, one or two tomato chunks, and seasonings. Sprinkle other person's with cheese and seasonings on top of their top layer. Now, they'll be full and have a crunchy, satisfying salad and you'll slip by with little calories and still be able to enjoy a meal with them.

Monday, August 17, 2009

"Smoothie" to Calm Hunger & Fill You Up

I live off of these to fill me up and keep me going with very little calories. It's mostly water with a little yogurt and milk for flavor. The water and the foam created from the blender is what fills you up.

1 tablespoon of FF yogurt, like Dannon Light 'N Fit
1 tablespoon FF dry milk (dry milk foams; other milk doesn't. I prefer the foam because I "eat" it off the top with a spoon and it's filling)
dash of salt (brings out the sweetness)
sweetner to taste (Equal, Splenda, Sweet'n Low or a mix of all three)
few bits of fruit if you want (very tiny bits of banana or strawberries can be quite flavorful, but not necessary)

Toss that into a full blender of water, like 1 liter. Blend fast for 5-10 seconds, making it foam up at the top (it's very weak, so it's mostly clear...but has flavor if you add enough sweetner and mix the right amount of salt to bring out that flavor). Use a large spoon to "eat" off the little layer of foam on top. Blend again, creating more foam. I "eat" the foam off the top all the way down to where there's hardly any left. Then I'm full with the bubbles and the water and it's actually pretty tasty.

I'm just weird, but aren't we all? Never hurts to share ideas.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

TIME Magazine's Latest Issue

I just received TIME magazine's latest issue. The cover feature article is about exercise and how it doesn't necessarily help much in losing's the eating and consumption (or lack thereof) of calories that makes the most difference. Exercise tends to make one's self-resolve for resisting more calories/food dissolve. After working out hard, you feel like it's okay to have that extra iced mocha or whatnot. And really, exercise doesn't burn off THAT many extra calories. Plus, if we exercise, we tend to be less active throughout the rest of the day.

I find that changing up my workout routine, my running, by increasing the intensity rather than the duration has seriously helped me to lose more weight. Rather than running longer at my usual pace, I've kicked it up to sprint and run harder but at a set amount of time. It's working well. So in that sense, it helps with losing being ana, we have the resolve to resist food so that's not as much of an issue for us. I dunno, I still give exercise credit.

What do you guys think?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Beautiful ThinSpo

Thanks a million to Depth Perfection's blog post today. Great video:

Always Worried About Something

So I worry and worry about my weight and reducing. Then I finally do--and I step on the scales to see my lowest number in years and I start worrying because I don't want to lose it, I want to stay at that weight. I finally make it and then start worrying about keeping it! Will the anxiety never end for an ana? No, I guess not.

Eating Tip

Hello, all!

I work in an office with people coming and going throughout the day randomly, in and out, stopping to chat or meet or whatever. As such, I can't find "safe" times to chew/spit throughout the day or whatnot...and going all day without anything makes me unable to think clearly by the afternoon. So I needed to do something about that. I've started taking food with me to work, stuff I'll actually eat: sprouts, a head of lettuce, a couple peppers or a box of cherry tomatoes. I've found that if I eat parts of a salad individually, it lasts longer and fills me up way better when I'm starving. So, for instance, I'll eat a bowl of lettuce (with seasonings it can be very tasty), then a handful of sliced pepper. Then a small cup of white, raw mushrooms. Breaking it down into 3 parts feels like more and I fill up better because it takes longer to eat so I actually digest and don't feel so hungry. It's a good way to look like you're eating a lot when you're around others, without actually doing so. Plus it helps you regain your energy when you're getting really low.