Getting Closer

3 more pounds lost! Changed up my morning routine a bit. Never ran on a treadmill before, always just outside. I found that the treadmill keeps me running fast--I can't slow down and get lazy like I can on the road. Wow! Great workout in less time: more effort, higher heart rate, more calories burned but less time. Super.

Morning routine this week: 40 min. run outside, then 35 min elliptical, 10 min treadmill run

I'm finding that if I need to go all day without being able to c/s (because c/s-ing keeps me from thinking of food and going through the agonizing, obsessive food thoughts all day long...it keeps me "sane" and I still don't eat though I get to "experience" the food before spitting it...don't get me started on this...I can go on and on! lol), I'll have veggies or light eating throughout the day if I must be with others. For instance, at work all day (I'm project manager for a construction company, so the guys are in and out all day long in the office), I'll have a couple bowls of lettuce with seasoning or FF dressing when I get to the point of being really, really hungry and my head is starting to thump. That generally makes me even MORE hungry, so about an hour or two later, I'll cut up 3-4 red, orange and green peppers, or a few tomatoes with salt and pepper, or a grapefruit and eat that. By doing this, I can keep myself going on an even keel throughout the day when I need to be "on". My job can get hectic and very busy--which I love because it makes the day fly--but I need to be able to think clearly and keep upbeat. If I'm not alone to c/s, then I'll eat the veggies to keep going. That also keeps me still motivated to go to the gym on the way home from work to lift weights and stretch for 20-30 mins.

I come home and c/s to curb my hungry stomach for the evening. You can't chew/spit just any food...you'll consume a lot more than you think. You have to pick foods like soft breads that you can chew and spit without juice or sugar or cream or oil or other liquid running down your throat. So sandwiches, breads, donuts, pretzels, pasta without much sauce (so it's dry), pizza, french fries (with a little ketchup, not much), chicken nuggets...that sort of thing.

I don't know whether restricting, exercising and then c/s-ing is an anorexic thing or bulemic...I used to be a hardcore anorexic in my teens. Then I "recovered" somewhat but gained weight and felt like shit even though everyone else seemed reassured. No more of that. I was so much more proud of myself when I could feel and see hip bones! I have attitude, personality, determination, motivation and "hutzpah" when I'm thin and feeling good...I am cranky and feel so crappy otherwise. I'm not nearly as outgoing, motivated or energetic. I don't accomplish as much...or don't feel like trying to.

So I'm heading back home to visit my family and stay with my parents for a week starting Friday. I'm thinking it will be a perfect time to try the ABC diet...anyone have suggestions, experience, resources or thoughts on this? I'll be around my parents who, especially my mom, are very perceptive to my eating habits and make sure I'm still "healthy" and not "too thin", etc. etc. So I'll need to eat something in front of them to keep them reassured...and I won't have the opportunity to c/s every evening unless it's late at night...so I'll need to cope otherwise. Oh well, maybe I'll lose a few more pounds because of it!